Introduction: This show is bad and by bad I mean REALLY bad. But its for that precise reason that this show is good. Assassins Pride clearly wasnt supposed to be a comedy but Ive never laughed so much at an anime before. It feels like it was written and produced by a group of angsty preteen redditors and thats why I couldnt bring myself to look away. Dialogue: Just watch the first 5 minutes of the show and youll know exactly what Im talking about. Theres this scene where the main character arrives at the campus by train and he runs into a female colleague and I swear I felt like I was watching the reenactment of some shitty matchmaker forum RP. 800https://i.ibb.co/fNd1p95/Cringe1.png MALE AND FEMALE CHARACTERS SAY SAME THING AT SAME TIME Oh my we said the same thing. Yes what a coincidence. MALE WALKS UP TO FEMALE Take my hand milady. Wow what a gentleman. Its only natural to show a little courtesy. I wish I could escort you to your destination. YOU SEE? You see what Im talking about here? I hate to break it to you writers but unless youre performing in an high school play thats NOT how people talk to each other. It doesnt just stop there either. This show has cringeworthy dialogue down to the letter. Its as if the writing staff were trying to make a characterdriven story but have zero reallife experience associating with other human beings and this abomination to social interaction was the end result. Plot: The story follows Kufa Vampyr and I bet youve already guessed that hes secretly a vampire. Youd be correct as it should be blindly obvious even for blind people but somehow this revelation is still a complete shock to everybody in the series. Anyway so Kufa is an assassin whos sent on a mission under the guise of tutoring the other main character a magicless girl named Milada Angel. Get it? Its Milada as in Milady and Angel because shes supposed to be the angel that changes the course of his life or something. Like I said this show is super on the nose when it comes to naming its characters and just about everything else really. Milada is noblewoman born from a house famous for breeding powerful magicians called Paladins except she was born with no mana and is considered a disgrace to the family name. Kufas mission is to determine whether or not she has magic power and to assassinate her if it turns out she doesnt. 800https://i.ibb.co/DrC0GYQ/Cringe2.png However bad boy main character Kufa simps over Milada and decides hed rather not kill her. So Kufa ends up to giving her some of his own magic power which involves making out with her I might add. Unfortunately this means Milada wont be able to become a Paladin since she automatically inherits Kufas attribute Samurai. Apparently Samurais are an assassination subclass in this universe because of course an anime has to use an RPG system for combat. Welcome to 2020 ladies and gentlemen. Anyway a noble having an assassination attribute is kind of sketchy and if anybody finds out theyll both be done for so they both have to hide that information from everyone else if they want to survive. And just in case it didnt already feel like this was the final manifesto of some sad teenager the first thing Milida does with her newfound power is use them to beat the shit out of her high school bully. Harem: Kufa Vampyr is one of the most blatant male audience selfinsert Gary Stu characters Ive ever seen. It literally couldnt be more obvious that he only exists for some loser to live vicariously through his actions. When you consider that in addition to being a badass dark swordsman hes also surrounded by a harem of women at a school for teenage girls it becomes clear that this character is basically a Kirito archetype and Im sorry SAO fans but thats NOT a good thing. 800https://i.ibb.co/pKc09wg/Cringe3.png Laqua Madia This girl was the first real villain of the show that eventually devolved into a tsundere side character for Kufas harem. She was an assassin from his guild who only speaks with fire not because shes mute but because she gets off on trolling her targets. She also has complicated feelings for Kufa which ultimately lead her to stop trying to kill Milida and become a teacher at the school to be closer to him. 800https://i.ibb.co/QnYmrfB/Cringe4.png Rosetti Prickett Madia isnt the only teacher that falls for Kufa of course. Rosetti happens to be the girl Kufa was chatting with in the train scene I was talking about in the dialogue section of this review. Shes a magicallygifted former commoner whos the youngest person to ever join the legendary Crest Legion guild. Rosetti is the personal tutor of a member of Milidas family Elise. She also happens to be Kufas adopted sister but doesnt remember Kufa because of magic amnesia or something. This makes it slightly weird that shes headoverheels in love with him. 800https://i.ibb.co/X3dY1bT/Cringe5.png Milida Angel Unfortunately for the other two women Kufa Vampyr only has eyes for one girl in particular and shes 13yearsold. Despite being highly unethical they have a borderline romantic relationship. In fact Milida actually makes him pledge to wait until shes old enough to marry him by the THIRD EPISODE. Yeah I mean what kind of show did you think this was? 800https://i.ibb.co/zQCX4pB/Cringe6.png Miscellaneous Of course there are other girls that try make a pass at Kufa but I dont have the time to write about all of them. Plus I doubt thatd be very interesting to read. Just assume every female character that enters Kufas orbit wants the D and youd probably be right. Conclusion: Let me make this crystal clear I actually WANT you to watch this mess of a show. Its so divorced from reality thats its really fun to watch. People come down on it pretty hard and for good reason I might add but to the writers credit they actually did a pretty good job making the show at least watchable. I mean we all love a good dumpster fire every now and then.