Go big or dont go at all is a phrase I judge any work by I dont see a point in writing or creating something if youre not gonna commit to the bit per se some of my favorite works ever Aquarion Zenkaiger Demonbane may not have a lot in common in the surface except for the fact they all take their idea and run with it to the finish mile and then a few hundred kilometers past that. Shuumatsu Train is the complete opposite its like going to a luxurious holiday island and exclusively visiting the walmart Thankfully I documented my thought on every episode so I can go bit by bit and explain why this anime sucked so much ass EP1 I started watching this on a whim I had no idea it would be a surreal or pseudoexpetimental anime frankly if it had just been a SoL with a train gimmick I would have been happy enough so you can imagine my shock when Yoka pressed the funny button and the entire world distorted. A CGDCT anime about exploring this deformed surreal colorful world in a train? Hell yeah bro Ive been waiting for something like this for years something to fill that hole GLT and Made in Abyss left all those years ago and that Shimeji did a few months ago after having the most 7/10 ending of all time. It looks too good to be true but Ill have hope EP2 And now the girls are locked in on this journey? Even better Im sure this is gonna pay off in the end EP3 And then we get our first sign of things to come: The mushroom town The entire episode isnt sure if it wants to be a horror or a parody of horror we get the most obvious hey this town is weird signs of all time and somehow were meant to just not see a plot twist coming I guess Im not sure this episode could have been like 4 minutes long and the ending would have hit about the same. We do see one big issue with Shuumatsu Train here and thats that it has the exact same of selfawarebutuntalented sense of humor as a Channel Awesome film characters will constantly point at their own actions and go thats weird as hell but it never lands even in the more seriousish moments the show tries its damn hardest to look at the camera and go get a load of this guy but it just lands flat because you need actual talent to make those bits work or at the very least you need balls which this show also lacks horribly EP 4 I think this one was just a comfy backstory episode I dont have much written other than This show is definitely at its strongest when its a surreal sorta comfy journey instead of a horror mystery. An extremely funny observation considering this show leans a lot closer to some weird mystery anime rather than a surreal sorta comfy thing EP 5 Another problem with the show arises: The boring normaler moments last forever the surreal creative ones fade away instantly. You create a world where anything is possible where you can be as fucked up and original as you can and the best thing you can come up with and the thing you put the most focus on is... A horror town thing? Little people? Zombies??? This is an augur of the shows biggest issue which Ill get to later but seriously this isnt interesting theres 7000 other things out there that have already done what this show has so far done but way better maybe this would have rocked 30 years ago but its been a long time do something else EP 6 7 These ones are just unremarkable they do their thing good enough I guess. Its a bit of a twist on the usual zombie trope but 1 twist doesnt justify an entire whatever episode. The only things I can really say is that seeing Shizuru being very hearltess to Yoka in the past was VERY promising it gave me hope that the fated reunion would make it all worthy It didnt the reunion happened out of nowhere and the anime dedicated a lot more time to showing how Yoka got groomed and that I can see what these episodes were going for but the execution wasnt fully there. Theyre fine I guess EP8 And alas we dive head first into the pool of liquid shit: The Neriali episode. If the last few were already killing the hope I had for this anime this one tried to dig up its grave and accidentally decapitated it with the shovel then it said fuck it and started beating the shit out of its corpse Neriali feels like Shuumatsu Train is trying to make up for all the normality of the previous half of the show but heres the big issue and the thing that ruins anything this anime could have ever been: A terminal and complete lack of Balls. I beckon back to the phrase at the beginning of this review Go big or dont go at all if you dont have the confidence the talent the Balls to go through with a complete absurdity of an episode creating a whole fictional anime with the dumbest plot idea possible then why even do it? You just end up with a half baked idea that before even starting is already laughing at itself. Neriali is rushed to hell its rushed to get to nowhere it constantly points at how stupid it is but never tries being actually stupid it just throws shit at the fan without committing to any bit because everyone involved was afraid that if they showed even the slightest bit of honesty the audience would laugh at them or call them dumb as a result we end up with an episode that pleases nobody. Oh yea and if that wasnt enough we get the Yoka plotwist that shes now the evil queen of ikebukuro and who gives a fuck EP9 Plotshit is a term I like to use for shows that end up focusing too much in having a story that makes sense instead of making the show actually good do we need something with no plotholes to enjoy it? Are we really so afraid of our own shadow that if something is slightly ignored we get scared that were lost? Personally Ill give a shit about the plot if the plot is the point or if its interesting or whatever every work out there has a vibe AKA something it excels at and something that should in an ideal world be the focus of the work. Shuumatsu would have exceled at being a surreal weird moe journey instead what we get is a Plotshit anime of a guy that solely exists to be annoying and his masterplan to groom a random girl into giving him godmode powers or whatever the hell. Basically: I dont care EP10 Ah yes we shall return the world to normal Weird things are BAD and ESCAPISM we cannot let this happen We will save this world. This idea has been tried before time and time again and its not something you should do unless you have some real fucking experience writing it because you run the risk of looking like your message is Being weird and creative is bad you should go to normal school and die at a normal job. Does Shuumatsu do this? Kinda thankfully the ending focuses on something else so Ill give it credit whereIm not finishing that sentence Anyways this episode was either hilarious in a cosmic way or completely insulting. The actual gall to have an entire episode dedicated to artists struggling to make their work when you yourself are struggling to make this show ANYTHING. Artistic expression has no limits spouted by a show too terrified to reach past any limites EP11 Rush rush rush rush to get the Yoka reunion rush to come up with the plan to fix the world rush everything and get nowhere. Not much to say this show was already well on its way to sucking EP12 They got this ending at the ending store So in short Shuumatsu Train is FINE if I take out my hater hat for a second I can say its maybe a 5/10 or a 6/10 its dissapointing but its not terrible its probably fun enough if your standards arent too big but if I put my hat on I see this show for what it could have been and what it ended up being. I see endless potential for something truly timeless behind layers and layers of cowardice and irony I see an extremely lack of confidence in your own talent to create something and the desperation at hiding it behind large stretches of painfully normal ideas or unique ones taken not seriously whatsoever We could have had something special something that recreates that feeling the other animes I mentioned here was very much possible. But alas we didnt get that and thats what makes me really hate this anime